mgnghagm.

I hate hate hate hate DESPISE having to control my life to make someboy else happy...or more like to not get them upset, because it's bullshit. I despise not being able to go out with friends because someone will be upset that i'm not home. I despise not being able to go to my brother's apartment because that fact is being hidden from him and if he finds out, he'll get mad. I hate that I have to be quiet at 9 pm because he's sleeping, and that I can't do anything around him because he'll get mad. I hate that he has the audacity to tell me that he loves me and he loves us but then can turn around and tell us that he hates our guts, he doesn't love us, he wishes he never had us, and that we're not his. I hate his fucking guts. How fucked up is it that I cant even spend time with my brother? for real? how fucked p is it taht I can't go out, be more involved, have a fucking social life, because i'm stuck here at home? How fucked up is it? I was supposed to go to wady's apt, and I couldn't. Because he'd get mad. And then, HALF AN HOUR LATER, I get the suggestion that I could say that I was spending the night at someone else's house, when 1) THAT WAS MY ORIGINAL IDEA, and 2) IT WAS TOLD LATER SO I WOULD HAVE TO STAY HERE AND DO SHIT TOMORROW. Fuck this shit. I'm done.