My Life, My happenings, throught the lovely stylings of a blog. Yeah, i know, it's kinda sad, but I like having somewhere to go where i can post what i want, where i want, ect. Anywho, come here to learn about me, my life, friends, what i like, dislike, whatever! :)
it's been over a year since i last posted here, a lot of things have happened. i'm sick right now and it sucks. my nephew is a year and a few days old...wow. i have a job. its ok. i like it. i feel like i've separated from my friends. sucks. don't do much. i miss having my own website. i do. i miss designing stuff. trading card collections. you know. yeah. boredom.
I am seriously saddened. granted, i didn't know this man personally. but everything he ever did seriously touched me. He really did what he loved and taught the world to love nature and wildlife with him. i wanted to cry. i pray for his family, his wife terri and his two children. as weird as it sounds, we never got to say goodbye, we never got to say thank you. but i'm sure that in heaven,he feels our love...and knows how much we miss him. :( god bless his family.
I've been officialy chosen to work both the opening and the closing ceremonies for the Gay Games in Chicago! I'm sooo excited! :D AND i'll be working the Beach Volleyball events! :D AND i really like high school musical.
*Disclaimer* I took this from my livejournal. Didn't feel like going through it and rewriting things to reflect as if i posted it today, or meant it for blogger. So there. So...I don't think i've ever actually posted anything of substance in this blog. And the odds of anyone actually reading it because they want to, not because they stumbled upon it as they were looking on other links is almost nonexistent. So here we go... Last Tuesday my brother aldo, my cousin Dulce, and I went to the driving range. We stayed till about midnight. We then decided to go back to the house to play some xbox games that we could all play together. In the middle of the third race, the phone rings. Mind you, it's 2:30 AM, who calls anyone at that time? It turns out to be my uncle Aldo from mexico. He calls to tell us that Dulce's cousin, Jorgito, had been in a bad motorcycle accident and that he was in intensive care. So we all start literarily freaking out, then gather ourselves to help dulce, who is having a breakdown. I try mybest to make her feel better as we book her a flight that same morning to go back to mexico to see her little brother, who is only 16 years old, as my brother secretly tells me that if she doesn't leave now, she may never see him again. We book her a flight at 6:30 am, so they leave the house at around 4 am. As the car pulls out of the driveway, it hits me. She's going back to mexico, I may not see her for years (it had already been 13 years since i've seen her or her brother or much of my mom's family), and so I run to my mom and cry, she's holding me for comfort. Later on, I fall asleep after playing Star Wars Battlefront II, a game which i use to attempt to distract myself from the actualy world. I fall asleep as the most beautiful sunrise filters through the living room window, bathing everything with an orange glow. Ironically, it was a very peaceful moment. I wake to hear my mom saying "no" repeatedly, crying. I run to the kitchen and i find her bawling on the kitchen table. I turn to aldo and ask what happened, and he says he passed away...i sat down in shock. I couldn't believe it. He was the youngest of all the boys, and there were only two male cousins living in mexico, as the rest of the boys were my brothers...My dad gets home, he had called the hospital in mexico and got all the details. It turns out he had passed away at 12:15 am, just about the time we were headed home from the driving range. Apparently, he was avoiding the mexican police. They are very corrupt, stealing money, cars, and anything they could, so he was scared that they were going to take his motorcycle away since he didn't have a helmet or a licence plate. While avoiding, he crashed into a parked car. The police, instead of calling for help, drove away, and we believe his best friend called both the ambulance and his father, my uncle. The last thing he ever said was "Can you bring me a glass of water? i'm thirsty" as he laid in the ICU...all of a sudden, he started shaking and then he passed. The autopsy revealed that he was bleeding internally, and he suffered from a heart attack. I don't even know what to do. I'm trying to live my life as I always do, but it's so hard. Everytime I see a motorcycle, i feel sick to my stomach. I want to yell out to them to be careful. My mom is paranoid everytime we leave the house. I talk to him when I can. Mostly when i'm alone, but sometimes when i'm at work, amid all the music and the dancing people, I talk to him. Just so he knows that I haven't forgotten about him. Just so he knows that i'll never forget about him. I'll always love him. I miss him so much. and I never got to say goodbye. I spoke to my uncle the next day. I have never heard him sound so sad. All i could tell him was that I loved him so much. That i was sorry that this happened. That if he needed anything, we would be there anytime. I love him so much. And it hurts me to see him and hear him in pain. The last time I saw my cousin was when he was on a webcam with his sister in my room, showing her her puppy, Dunky, that she missed so much. Before that, he was a rambunctious 3 or 4 year old, running around with so much energy. He invented one of the most famous nicknames for my grandmother. He was so smart. He was a genius with comuters. He used to build his own, and fix the transmitters for his district's police. He was loved by so many, and still is. I'll never forget about him. I miss him so much. He'll always be in my heart.
I woke up this morning at 5:54. I went into the shower at 6:40. I turned up the heat to the water. It felt good. It felt different. It was painful, but not, you know? The stinging of the water woke me up. Not just from sleeping, but physically, mentally, psychologically. I sat in the tub, thinking. What am I doing here? Seriously? What's stopping me from laying down and letting the water flow over me? Would I care if I was gone? Would anyone care if I was gone? This isn't a cry for attention, so those who already have that mindset can fuck off. I literarily sat there, in the tub, debating whether or not I should leave my warm little corner. I wanted to curl into the fetal position and lay there, and let whatever happen, happen. I knew it was a mistake to be here. I knew I shouldn't have done it. It's nothing but crap here. I'll be honest with you, and only you. Can you keep a secret? Can you really? Seriously? Ok. I'll tell you. I almost turned the water to hotter. I wanted to feel it on my skin. I wanted to feel the burn. The scalding. Then, I wanted to run to the kitchen and grab the tylenol. And take a few dosages at once. Just to see what would happen. See if it mattered. If it would make a difference. But I didn't. Because that would make me weak. And I can't be weak. I've been taught to not be weak. I have to be strong. I can't show feeling. I have to have ammunition, be ready to hit someone if they hit me. Smack 'em down when they try to jump. I have to be a bitch. I have to be stronger. I have to have no feelings and be all business or nothing. I have to fuck over people who i'd rather not. It's business, they say. You have to look out for yourself. Fuck that. I'm done.
I hate hate hate hate DESPISE having to control my life to make someboy else happy...or more like to not get them upset, because it's bullshit. I despise not being able to go out with friends because someone will be upset that i'm not home. I despise not being able to go to my brother's apartment because that fact is being hidden from him and if he finds out, he'll get mad. I hate that I have to be quiet at 9 pm because he's sleeping, and that I can't do anything around him because he'll get mad. I hate that he has the audacity to tell me that he loves me and he loves us but then can turn around and tell us that he hates our guts, he doesn't love us, he wishes he never had us, and that we're not his. I hate his fucking guts. How fucked up is it that I cant even spend time with my brother? for real? how fucked p is it taht I can't go out, be more involved, have a fucking social life, because i'm stuck here at home? How fucked up is it? I was supposed to go to wady's apt, and I couldn't. Because he'd get mad. And then, HALF AN HOUR LATER, I get the suggestion that I could say that I was spending the night at someone else's house, when 1) THAT WAS MY ORIGINAL IDEA, and 2) IT WAS TOLD LATER SO I WOULD HAVE TO STAY HERE AND DO SHIT TOMORROW. Fuck this shit. I'm done.
I hate hate hate hate DESPISE having to control my life to make someboy else happy...or more like to not get them upset, because it's bullshit. I despise not being able to go out with friends because someone will be upset that i'm not home. I despise not being able to go to my brother's apartment because that fact is being hidden from him and if he finds out, he'll get mad. I hate that I have to be quiet at 9 pm because he's sleeping, and that I can't do anything around him because he'll get mad. I hate that he has the audacity to tell me that he loves me and he loves us but then can turn around and tell us that he hates our guts, he doesn't love us, he wishes he never had us, and that we're not his. I hate his fucking guts. How fucked up is it that I cant even spend time with my brother? for real? how fucked p is it taht I can't go out, be more involved, have a fucking social life, because i'm stuck here at home? How fucked up is it? I was supposed to go to wady's apt, and I couldn't. Because he'd get mad. And then, HALF AN HOUR LATER, I get the suggestion that I could say that I was spending the night at someone else's house, when 1) THAT WAS MY ORIGINAL IDEA, and 2) IT WAS TOLD LATER SO I WOULD HAVE TO STAY HERE AND DO SHIT TOMORROW. Fuck this shit. I'm done.
Is a word my voice lesson teacher uses every time we meet for class. Interesting. So. Update on my life. I haven't blogged in...well...i think since like, december/january? So here's an update. Every single week, i have to be at school at 9, for various different reasons. T/TH, class from 9-noon. MW Yoga at noon. T- meetings from...1-4 pm, depending on the week, to what could be till 9-10ish at night. Committee meetings. Board meetings. Ad-Hoc committee meetings. Eboard meetings. Classes. Online class i'm taking. Voice lessons from 1.55(randomness) to 2:25. WEIRD. Then I come home, sleep, and do it all over again. Except on thursdays, where I go work the door at WT and deal with 99% awesome people, then there's the 1% that makes me wanna like, slit my throat and write a poem with the blood. you know? Weekends are filled with sleeping in in the mornings (except for tomorrow, damn children's series events) and staying in doing nothing. I have not seen any of my friends outside of triton (even my inside triton friends) for over 3 and a half months. And it sucks. It's not because I don't want to, it's because time physically does not allow me to. regarding a sweet email i got the other day from steph, yes I know, we'll always be friends no matter what. through thick or thin. we all do fucked up things to each other all the time, because we're human beings, and weirdly enough, it's what we do, you know? And I do feel like a douche bag, but one thing that I want you to understand is that i'm not ditching you for any other friends or anything, I swear. If i'm gonna use that term, then i'm ditching all my friends, including the Triton ones, because I never see them either.* (this statement brought to you by the Equal opportunity ditching coalition. We don't discriminate.) <--lol, had to add that. popped into my head. Anyways. i know that we won't change our friendship. I miss seeing you every day. I miss seeing rachel every day. (p.s. rachel, I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOU! :D I DO I DO I DOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! I thought of you the other day, U2 was on the news and i started doing our lil' beautiful day dance thing. It rocked.) So, spring break is next week. Let's do something. In theory, I should have money, since I got paid last week. Yeah i did! I rocked my world. Although it might not work as well as I want it to. But you know. :D So, to end. My phone was fucked for 4 days straight, missed all kinds of phonecalls *more than likely) but it's fixed now, so feel free to call me people!
TRY THIS: Write different statements intended towards 10 different people that you would never say to their faces or something you wish you would have said...But never tell them it was about them... 1) I don't think I'll ever be able to fully forgive you for what you did. You fucking bitch, fully well knowing. Yet went ahead and did it. Oh well. In a way i'm better off, I don't have to deal with a lot of the bullshit, but I'm hell of a lot of jealous. But you know what? I still love you, even if I don't forgive you. I promise that that'll never get in the way of our friendship. 2) Honey, you must realize that things will get better eventually. You are an amazing person, but the way you talk about yourself fucking kills me, and I am truly afraid that you'll end up killing yourself. I dreamt about it, actually, and it was one of the scariest dreams I've ever had. I woke up crying. I don't know what I would do if I lost you, you've helped me so much in so many ways. Please don't do anything to yourself, I am truly afraid for you. Feel free to slap me first or something. I love you sooo much, and consider you one of the higher ranking peeps, for real. 3) I am jealous of you. I am jealous of how you hold yourself around people and draw them in like bees to the honey. and I'm jealous of all the changes you've made in your life, those which I wish I could make. But I don't have that kind of strenght, i'm a weak person compared to you. I don't hate you though, I'm glad we're so close because I'd go crazy without you. 4) I loved you. I seriously loved you at one point in my life. And I held on to that so hard, so much, that I let go of everything else in my life that mattered. But I realized that that's not healthy at all. And I let go of you. Or more like, I let go of the concept of you, the love that I had...and by doing that, I regained all those things that I had lost. Believe it or not, colors are brighter, flowers smell sweeter, music sounds more beautiful (except for those songs. But you don't know about those). And in a way, I still have you. But not the way I wanted you. But that's ok. I still have your friendship. And I'll always have the memories. 5) You may be the single person i've ever allowed to get the closest to me. I've divulged so much of myself to you, and I trust you so much. I hope that you share my feelings, but sometimes, I wonder if I hold you closer to me than you do to me. I sometimes feel like we've outgrown each other, but then I realize that we haven't, we will be friends forever. You, like number 2, are one of my highest rankin' peeps, I love you. 6) Stop making yourself the fucking victim. I'm sick of you turning every comment, every argument, every single word anyone utters into "OOH, LOOK AT ME, EVERYTHING'S ABOUT ME!". FUCK YOU! I understand the other shit you've been through, but you don't make the situation any better for yourself when you get into arguments with him and yell back stupid shit and bring back arguments from when you were my age. God damn woman, you have my pity. And though I do love you and will always take care of you, just shut the face sometime. 7) You're a backstabbing bitch who needs to go back to wherever the hell you came from. Since you arrived in our lives, you've done nothing but start useless drama and turn everybody against each other. And now, you've caused one of the peeps to leave, you make me want to leave, and everybody thinks you're an intimidating bitch, when in reality, you're just a bitch who wants everything her way or the highway. I fucking hate you so much, and I hope to never see you again. 8) You're an asshole. Period. I can't believe you pulled the shit you pulled. Did you bother to assist? To offer help? I knew I shouldn't have come back, but I never expected you to do this shit. You love nothing better than to have a group of people licking your ass. You love the praise, don't cha? That's all you're here for. Well, you know what? It's pathetic. You're a grown fucking man, get friends your own fucking age. I can't wait until i'm rid of you for the rest of my life. 9) You have supported me though a lot, and I really appreciate that. I wish you the best in life, since it'll be changing in a little while. Hope that everything works good. Kind of redundant thru a lot of these things, but I love you soo much. 10) I liked you. A lil' bit. But i'm over it now. So go have fun! Ok. So that was weird for me to do. lol.
You know I did it It's over and I feel fine Nothing you can say's gonna change my mind Waited and I waited the longest night Nothing like the taste of sweet decline I went down, I fell, I fell so fast. Dropping like the grains in an hourglass Never say forever, cause nothing lasts Dancing with the bones to my buried past Nevermind, there?s nothing I can do Bet your life there?s something killing you Chorus: It's a shame we have to die, my dear No one's getting out of here alive this time What a way to go, but have no fear No one?s getting out of here alive this time I'm finished I'm getting you off my chest Made you come clean in a dirty dress A promise is a promise You're kept in check Hard to cross a heart that beats it's fists Take a good hard look for the very last time The very last one in a very long line Only took a second to say goodbye Been a pleasure, but the pleasure's been mine all mine Ain't no way D.O.A. It's a shame we have to die, my dear No one's getting out of here alive this time What a way to go, but have no fear No one's getting out of here alive this time It's a shame we have to disappear No one's getting out of here alive this time I Heart this video. It's sooo funny, yet so good. And sad. I really like this song. I liked the music more than the actual lyrics, to be honest. The tune is catchy and well written. And the lyrics kinda blend in with the song, obviously with the melody, but they work. :) And that poor puppy. And upsidedownness is god. (psst. I think they used the same set from the Bye Bye Bye video. But don't tell them I said so) Ahem. Back to programming. I must make like, ten million cd's now. i owe cd's for a swap that i wasn't able to fulfill due to schoolness issues, so i'm like, what they call a flaker. Not that I meant to be, I just am. I apologize for having a life and responsibilities outside of swapping. But i'm not holding it against them. :) I swear. So, y'all have a great day, as I head back dwnstairs to talk to steph on aim. Byes!
So it's working again, yay! :D Let's see...update... Well...ummm...i just got home, I spent New Year's at Michelle's with the bunch, I missed jen by about half an hour, i was PISSED!!!! but it's all good, we had fun, quite the singalong, until 6 am! :D Before that, I spent the night at steph's mom's place...baking...our cookies were...decent...right? Um, there's not much to say lately. I'm feeling good now. My whole crush thing is GONE! GONE, I TELL YA! :D So i'm not lookin' anymore, imma wait till it comes to me, k? I hope to get more pictures in my album soon...we all look so hawt! :D lol... See y'all laters!
So, this is a test post, just to see if blogger's not being a douche or if my internet thingy is working. I heart you blogger, k? :) We shall see...
UPDATE! (As requested) Life has been hell schedulingwise. Seriously. I've had meetings pop out at me out of nowhere, events that have gone both good and bad, and have been dealing with a ridiculous amount of stress right now from sources not needed. So, lets give the past few weeks a glance, shall we? Considering they've been a blur, imma start at around halloween. Or the day before. I had these bumps inside (key word there) my underarm that were causing unbearable pain. Seriously, i was walking like i had both arms broken or something. So I went to the hospital and got them removed. they turned out to be like, growths of water/blood/fatty stuff that needed to be drained. Ew, I know, TMI. Whatever. So i get them removed on sunday, then monday I go out w. steph and rach to go walk rach's dogs, and then to go just shopping. I go to try something out, lift my arms and see blood. so i'm like, going home! I go home and we end up rushing to the emergency room. Turns out my right arm got infected, so i had to get it drained (again) and recleaned andbandaged. SUCKED! so missed school for 2 days. Thursday had to work. Stayed home friday and cleaned, all of sat & sunday we had family over and it was SOOOOOOO much fun. I heart my cuzins. So sunday nite we go w.my cuzin joel to the kitkat lounge in boystown. I didn't get carded, so fun-ness ensued. yeah. Monday, school, tuesday school, wednesday school (till REALLY late, working on administrative forum questions for thursday, had patrick, allison and sloan come and visit and totally help me destress), then thursday had the forum, we invited all the admins and deans of triton to answer questions from the students and stuff, it went better than expected, except that a question that was supposed to be cut was not, and it got thrown back to our faces. So there went that one. A lot of stress, mostly caused not by duties but by people. Although I have one of the best support groups ever, all my bitches and my senators are helping me out sooooooo much. And i feel like shit cuz i don't get to see my bitches as much as I want to, we are all soooo busy, and for some reason, when one has free time, the other doesnt, etc. sucks. so we must do something. last night, work was fun, made bunch of new friend people, got to wear cowboy hats, can't complain. I'm confused a little on the whole likeness thing. It's weird. it's like...i don't think he's interested, but i can't ask, because i have no balls. yet i think he does, just due to like, things he says and stuff. but i'm not gonna read too much into anything. im letting things work and go with the flow. Umm...if anything, anyone else got any more suggestions or questions on how things are going? let me know. :D
So, I don't know who you are. Frankly, i've given up on trying to find out (I gave up a looong time ago, I just never said anything.) One thing I must give props to is that even though you (more than likely) don't know me or know (again, more than likely) absolutely nothing about any of my situations other than what you read here, you always seem to have something good and insightful to say. So props to you, Queen Lizzie. My own personal advice columnist. Thank you. So today, what happened today? Both Em and I got our asses reamed today for "not doing anything" and stuff. Yea. Ok. Not commenting on that. Other than that, things are going pretty good. Must talk to the Dewster, neeeeeeeed an extention in my class...cuz I haven't flippin' started my stuff...I haven't had FLIPPIN TIME!!! ARGHGHGHGH! Um, yea. As The Rasmus so very nicely said in their song "In My Life"... "You make me sick, you make me nervous" Not in the "ew, I never wanna talk to you ever in my entire life" way, more like in the...idunnohowtocontrolmyselfaroundyou way. That's enough of that. I attended and SURVIVED the Music Box Massacre! Wady, Jorge, Yumi, and I attended said massacre, a.k.a a 24-Hour movie marathon, like, 15/20 movies...it was AWESOME! My back is killing me. And my Ankle as well. Trying to sleep on haaaaaaarrdd seats, while attatching your leg on an armrest...not fun. not advisable. yeah. So, wassup with all y'all friends of mine? talk to me! YEA!!!
yeah, this isn't gonna be some "woe is me" post or anything, but imma rant and rave and shit. so, school's ok. trustee stuff is cool. yet again, i'm overly involved in stuff...maybe i shouldn't be. I'm spending way too much time doing things for extracurriculars and not enough academics. i remind myself of the main character from rushmore. and yet again, i think that fall and winter brings out the lonelyness in me. i'm down again, it's weird. i have no reason to be. ihave great friends, i've made great friends with brand new people, and i'm involved in things that are awesome. the part that sucks is that i had a semi-sucky birthday surrounded by fights and arguments and sadness and excludedness, and that just kinda sent me in a rollercoaster that's going nowhere. so if i think of it that way, i'm sitting on the little seat with the safety on, yet i'm not going anywhere. it sucks that i don't have time to spend at home with family, or time to spend with my friends. i see a lot of them at school, but i never get to talk to steph or rachel. and it really sucks. last time i saw them was when we got our noses pierced, and that was like, 3 weeks ago. i'm thinking that i probably shouldn't talk about this out loud, so i won't name any names...as usual. lol. but i don't think anyone'll figue out who i'm talking about anyways, it's not THAT big of a deal. basically, yet again, i like someone whom i have absolutely no chance of getting to know/like me. well, yet again, that's a lie. i know this person, and i like them but they don't like me in the way that i like them. no details to be given though. i'll stop there. so yea. i'm watching LOGO with wady, the new gay network thing. I need to take a shower. and i need to craft, i joined a swap, and i'm actually excited. there only needs to be 2 items sent, but I might do more cuz I want to. :) Adios everybody...
Wow, time for an update (sorry it's been a while steph, I still love ya!) So, it's october 6th, 2005. So far, i've been elected student trustee at triton, and i've been busy as hell with school. I've been taking classes in the morning to have afternoons free for extracurriculars, and i'm giving tours with Sloan today (he's a new senator). I had to get my nose ring reopened (oh, yeah, I got my nose pierced for my birthday lol), the stud fell off while I was sleeping, and i woke up and tried to get it back on and I couldnt, therefore I had to reopen it. It hurt just a little, and I had to buy a new stud because the stone fell out of the old one. Umm, I went to springfield with Lan, the vp, and we got along damn well, i had a lot of fun...didja know there's a mall in springfield? it's not bad. I can't think of other things to say at the moment. Umm...let's see...that was my school update, life update - I have no life, it's all at school. Hopefully we'll have some sort of halloween party or something with the buddies or something. umm...Oh, and yea, I'm feeling butterflies in the stomach for a person (again, but not the person from before) and that scares me. A lot. But i'm not going anywhere with it for reasons that MIGHT be shown later. Dunno yet. That's all for today's update, sorry for the lack of news later, I barely have time to breathe! :D Luv y'all!
Happy Birthday to me. I live in a zoo. I look like a monkey. And i smell like one too! (obligatory shot of a monkey scratching his head, as if thinking whatthefuck?) Yes. 20. :)
Happy Birthday to me. I live in a zoo. I look like a monkey. And i smell like one too! (obligatory shot of a monkey scratching his head, as if thinking whatthefuck?) Yes. 20. :)
The past few weeks have been hectic as HELL! I decided to run for Student Trustee @ triton. Elections are Tues & Weds. VOTE DAMNIT! I've been unbelievably busy the past few days putting together the retreat for tcsa and also getting to know my fellow e-boarders. I've decided to put aside the thing I had against lan and start all over again, so we're all good. We're working as a real good team now, i'm glad that we're all getting along. I need to wash my hair lol. I'm @ skool at...well...late on a monday night. Why? Dunno. Igot class tomorrow. GRHGHGHALJKGAKJG!! AAAAAANNND Elections and shit. GHRHAGAGJK!!! My birthday's this thursday, imma turning 20...:D So excited!
Eric Roberts. As seen in the Mariah Carey Video "Like That Y'all", "We Belong Together", and The Killers "Mr. Brightside". I'll gladly eat him up. :)
I just had the worst dream, that i was sleeping in bed, my parents both walked into my room and sat down on chairs and started having an argument with me, then began to throw things at me, and i mean throw cups, pens, balls, everything they saw in my room and I tried to get them to stop and they couldn't and then they started taking things and breaking them and throwing them on the floor and just destroying everything I owned, and so i jumped at my dad but he just magically rolled away on the chair and i followed him back to his room and jumped on him so he fell on the floor and i was on top of him grabbing him by the shoulders and I asked him why the fuck did he do that? and he said, now, why can't we communicate?. And that's when I woke up. Crying. I either have a LOT of stress in my life right now, or I have some seeeerious resentment issues. You figure it out and let me know.
The next post is going to be in the more of depressing status, so if you REALLY don't wanna read it, you don't have to. it's more of just for my own shits and giggles. I changed my mind. instead of it being a huuuge post of depressing nature, i'll cut it down to highlights of stupid shit that is pissing me off. - For some reason, a comment that someone who shouldn't matter at all to me is driving me crazy. I BARELY know this person, and yet the person seems to psychoanalize me after like, what 5 visits of about 3 minutes each? Whatafuck? - Imma have to start changing meself and stuff. Must watch the language, apparently explatives are not appreciated in everyday vocabulary. Whatever. - Career search continues. What is it that I want to do? What is it that i'm good at? "you excell at many things, and you're good at some things, but you're not bad at anything". Care to point out what those specifics are? Cuz, like, yea, i'm not seeing anything. - Positive things are like, nonexistent. And sadly, it all started with a paint color I bought, which turns out to be someone else's paint color already, so so much for individuality. I've decided to add other colors to the pallete, which isn't a bad thing at all whatsoever, and steph's gonna help me with the designs on the ceilings. Exciting: yes. Original? Not so much. Why? the damn color. i can't wait for the designs on the ceiling, but the fucking color. ARGHGH!!! - Again, Positive things are nonexistent. There are no more friendly hello's in my hood. No "how are you?"'s, etc. It's all "BLABLABLA WHEN ARE YOU GONNA BLABLABLA, eidgioehljh" and stuff. Things that made me happy no longer do. I took down most of the stuff that was on my walls, in preparation of painting. It's made me sad? I'm thinking so. - Do I really wanna do this? Seriously? (and no, don't be confused. I have not stated what THIS is, and I probably shall not. So, you can skip this part whole if you want.) Do I really want to do it? I know what'll happen. Is it good for me? And that's the end of the depressio checklist for today. Care to donate? See previous post.
I'm a poooor college student, not even kidding here. Like a lot of people i know, i'm struggling to get by. I don't expect many people to think anything of it, but imma go for it and do this: If anyone wants to make a donation to helping me live, it'd be greatly appreciated. I'm not asking for much, just whatever you can do. Even if it's a dollar. anything would be appreciated. Thank you all for your kindness.
I had a dream last night that, I swear to god, was more exciting than a movie. I dreamnt that I was back at high school, having troubles with the choir class, standard for those who knew me. So for some reason, my teacher (who those who know, know) decides that we need to have a talk about it, and spend some extra time together to figure out what the problem is, so I end up getting in his car and we're driving to his house to talk. RIIGHT. So, He asks me, well, if you had to make a mix cd, what would be the first song on it? and I say (I think isaid this, but it happened this morning, so i don't really remember all the details of the dream) "Jesus met the woman at the well, I love that song" and I ask him the question, and he says, "well, remember a couple of years ago, Jen sang a song and dedicated it to her father, it was a christmas song. That's the song I would pick". Somehow, I knew who this jen was (Short description, reallly skinny girl, in choir, shoooooort boyish haircut but still girly, brown eyes, about my height (5'4) always had a barrette in her hair. Whether she's real or not, I dunno), and I know what song she was singing, so I say, "oh, That's so cool/sweet/etc", and he says "God, I can't believe I'm telling you this". So we get to his house, and we talk, and I leave. A couple of days later, I go over there in the middle of the night, cuz I wanted to say sorry for somethng, and I park in the driveway. It's one of those houses where the driveway is squshed between 2 houses, it's a 2 floor home, white stucco, with brown wood lining in the front porch. Don't ask why I remember. I just do. SO, there's a bunch of pretty plants and tulips and shit planted, it looks so pretty. So anyways, I park in the driveway and roll down my window. Suddenly, it's like a movie shot, and the shot is of his wife waking up suddenly. She gets up and walks towards the window, looking out at how beautiful the snow is, and she slightly opens the window and starts singing "Follow the drinking gourd". One line at a time. The shot changes to me in the car, and I start singing it too, like her. you see the vapor of my talking float up, since it's so cold. She sees it, looks down and realizes there's someone there. I see that i'm caught and i turn on the car and try to pull out of the driveway, fucking up all the plants there and turning them into mud. I pull out and drive. The whole thing turns into a manic chase scene. She gets on the phone, saying a car is driving out from her driveway, blablabla, and all I know is that there's a car chasing me. His wife changes from being his wife to this famous actress whose name I dunno, but she was in a really famous abc show. Whatever. So she's chasing me, talking to the cops, somehow on my tail, and the cops can't even find me. Then I blink, and i'm in a dark apartment, and there's a matress on the floor and Jake Gyllenhall is sleeping on there with some other girl, who apparently ran away with me. We're all dirty, and i decide to give up. So I go out the door into the hallway, and the guy who plays the BAD papparazzi in the movie paparrazzi is a cop, and runs to arrest me, almost tackling me, when I say "NO, I GIVE UP! I'm not gonna run away, just let me explain myself". So then we both walk to the stairwell and we sit down and i explain the whole situation, something about me apoligoizing and things going wrong and i panicked and drove away even though I didn't do anything. and then I get off scott free. Then I wake up. Confused. Oh, I remember, I was going to apologize about being such a bitch in class, that he's a cool guy, etc.... Yea. That was my weeeeird ass exciting like-a-movie dream. Interpretations are MORE than welcome. And somebody call me. I would call but I dunno who's working at what times, etc. :)
i was watching MTV's high school stories, and like, the happy endings made me want to cry. not even kidding. seriously. wtf? pms? me no think so. i have fucked up hormones. I turned a shoe holder thing i had into a computer monitor thingy, it was pretty cool, i just cut it in half and painted the one i wanted to keep. oh, and I also started cleaning my room and rearranging it, it's all funky. i took apart my vanity thingy, took the mirror off, etc. stuck it in my closet, im trying out new furniture placements. These past few weeks i've only gone out like, 3 times, so i've been at home for the most part. it's been soooo soothing ad relaxing (except for my mother yelling about the internet connection, but that just sucks to begin with). i'm watching Living Single on the Oxygen channel. I've been watching this show (well, the reruns, at least) since I was in 5th grade. 4 seasons, it was, and reruns are awesome...and i NEVER get tired of it! Ever! I can even classify the seasonish type by the intro song thing. pathetic. yes. i know. :)
So, i've been making bags, skirts, tshirts, etc. since high school (anyone who went to high school can agree with me, remember my spirit shirts? :D garbage earrings?) Anyways, i'm taking my market public, both online and to people. That's right, i'm starting an online store, with various different designs. And i'll say it now, i'm basically selling them to pay for the product cost, i'll probably get like, no real money out of it, but either way, it's fun, and people will have my designs! so it's all that matters! I'll be taking requests as well, and I hope that people can enjoy what I make. If anyone has any requests as of right now, drop me a comment. Wanna see a sample of my work? it's a pretty bad picture, but here it is:
Pardon the pudge. Imma chunky soups. Can't help it. :D
But that's one of my tshirts. Interested in anything else? Feel free to comment, and i'll get back to you on it! leave your email so I can email you back with everything needed please. :)
And that's it for my post today!
luv y'all!
Either grab a writing utensil and something to write on, or just remember your anwers. Apparently this is 99.9% TRUE Don't peak at the answers, cause it ruins it. Have fun. 1) Write the name of a person of the opposite sex. - Paul 2) Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, yellow? - Red 3) Your first initial? - C 4) Your month of birth? - September 5) Which color do you like more, black or white? - Black 6) Name of a person of the same sex as yours. - Stephanie 7) Your favorite number? - 13 8) Do you like California or Florida more? - California 9) Do you like the lake or the ocean more? - Ocean 10) Write down a wish. (A realistic one). - I wish for my grandma to be healthy. ARE Y0U D0NE? iF S0 SCR0LL D0WN. . .. ... .... ..... ...... ....... ........ ......... .......... ........... .......... ......... ........ ....... ...... .... ... .. . THE ANSWERS 1. You are completely in love with this person. 2. If you choose: Red - You are alert and your life is full of love. Black - You are conservative and aggressive. Green - Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back. Blue - You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love. Yellow- you are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down. 3. If your initial is: A-K You have a lot of love and friendships in your life. L-R You try to enjoy your life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom. S-Z You like to help others and your future love life looks very good. 4. If you were born in: Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected. April-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever. July-Sep: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good. Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soul mate. 5. If you chose... Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change. White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it. 6. This person is your best friend. 7. This is how many close friends you have in your lifetime. 8. If you chose: California: You like adventure. Florida: You are a laid back person. 9. If you chose: Lake: You are loyal to your friends and to your love. And you are very reserved. Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people. 10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday _*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_**_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_**_*_*_*_*_ Ok. Well. Yea. Well. Eh. Argh. No. Yes. No. You know? Mhgmg...*grumbles* I only reposted this for 2 reasons: 1) So the wish will come true, and my grandma's ok. 2) For steph to see what i was talking aboot.... ghrahgjkdh
I'm attempting to convert from PhPfanbase to Enthusast, and i'm scurred. I dunno how to back up my databases, since i'm hosted and i dont have access to the schpiel thingy. so anyone willing to help me, please do! Oh, and also, looking for a domain name. I'm looking for suggestions. Got any/ :) Gimmie them. :D that is all... Or is it?
Every Coral Helps. The Science of Coral. Gotta Lotta Coral. I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream for Coral. It's Not All Coral, Coral, Coral, you know?(<- I Beg To Differ...;D) It's Good To Talk Coral. It's a Coral Adventure. Go On, Get Your Coral Out. I'm Cuckoo For Coral. Would You Give Someone Your Last Coral? (BTW, Anyone who comes up to me and says these things will get major points for the rest of their lives ;D) You entered: 9/22/1985 You were born on a Sunday under the astrological sign Virgo. Your Life path number is 9. The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2446330.5. The golden number for 1985 is 10. The epact number for 1985 is 8. The year 1985 was not a leap year. As of 7/19/2005 2:33:13 AM CDT You are 19 years old. You are 238 months old. You are 1,034 weeks old. You are 7,240 days old. You are 173,762 hours old. You are 10,425,753 minutes old. You are 625,545,193 seconds old. There are 65 days till your next birthday on which your cake will have 20 candles on it. Those 20 candles produce 20 BTU's, or 5,040 calories of heat (that's only 5.0400 food Calories!) . You can boil 2.29 US ounces of water with that many candles. Your birthstone is Sapphire The Mystical properties of Sapphire Though not meant to replace traditional medical treatment, Sapphire is used for clear thinking. Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewlers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources) Agate, Moonstone, Lapis Lazuli Your birth tree is Lime Tree, the Doubt Accepts what life dishes out in a composed way, hates fighting, stress and labour, tends to laziness and idleness, soft and relenting, makes sacrifices for friends, many talents but not tenacious enough to make them blossom, often wailing and complaining, very jealous, loyal. There are 159 days till Christmas 2005! The moon's phase on the day you were born was in its first quarter. You entered: ***** Coral ****** There are 16 letters in your name. Those 16 letters total to 74 There are 7 vowels and 9 consonants in your name. Your number is: 11 The characteristics of #11 are: High spiritual plane, intuitive, illumination, idealist, a dreamer. The expression or destiny for #11: Your Expression number is 11. The number 11 is the first of the master numbers. It is associated with idealistic concepts and rather spiritual issues. Accordingly, it is a number with potentials that are somewhat more difficult to live up to. You have the capacity to be inspirational, and the ability to lead merely by your own example. An inborn inner strength and awareness can make you an excellent teacher, social worker, philosopher, or advisor. No matter what area of work you pursue, you are very aware and sensitive to the highest sense of your environment. Your intuition is very strong; in fact, many psychic people and those involved in occult studies have the number 11 expression. You possess a good mind with keen analytical ability. Because of this you can probably succeed in most lines of work, however, you will do better and be happier outside of the business world. Oddly enough, even here you generally succeed, owing to your often original and unusual approach. Nonetheless, you are more content working with your ideals, rather than dollars and cents. The positive aspect of the number 11 expression is an always idealistic attitude. Your thinking is long term, and you are able to grasp the far-reaching effects of actions and plans. You are disappointed by the shortsighted views of many of your contemporaries. You are deeply concerned and supportive of art, music, or of beauty in any form. The negative attitudes associated with the number 11 expression include a continuous sense of nervous tension; you may be too sensitive and temperamental. You tend to dream a lot and may be more of a dreamer than a doer. Fantasy and reality sometimes become intermingled and you are sometimes very impractical. You tend to want to spread the illumination of your knowledge to others irrespective of their desire or need. Your Soul Urge number is: 5 A Soul Urge number of 5 means: The 5 soul urge or motivation would like to follow a life of freedom, excitement, adventure and unexpected happening. The idea of travel and freedom to roam intrigues you. You are very much the adventurer at heart. Not particularly concerned about your future or about getting ahead, you can seem superficial and unmotivated. In a positive sense, the energies of the number 5 make you very adaptable and versatile. You have a natural resourcefulness and enthusiasm that may mark you as a progressive with a good mind and active imagination. You seem to have a natural inclination to be a pace-setter. You are attracted to the unusual and the fast paced. You may be overly restless and impatient at times. You may dislike the routine work that you are engaged in, and tend to jump from activity to activity, without ever finishing anything. You may have difficulty with responsibility. You don't want to be tied down to a relationship, and it may be hard to commit to one person. Your Inner Dream number is: 7 An Inner Dream number of 7 means: You dream of having the opportunity to read, study, and shut yourself off from worldly distractions. You can see yourself as a teacher, mystic, or ecclesiastic, spending your life in the pursuit of knowledge and learning. Ok, so enough bullshit posts. Now to the stuff that truly matters to me at this particular moment. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. *!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*SPOILER ALERT!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!* Seriously, if you don't want the story to be completely fucked up for you, avert your eyes now. Warning Given, here it goes: WOW! WOW! FUCKING HELL! WHAT THE FUCK WAS JO THINKING, WRITING THIS DAMN GOOD!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? So, the whole Snape thing, as much as I wanted to say I saw it coming, i did NOT see that shit coming. Motherfucker, is all i've got to say. Harry? I'm so glad he finally found the true person he needed to be with, the one that made him feel complete. I felt so giddy inside thinking of that specific scene...imagine if i was standing there, saw harry walk into the gryffindor common room, and ran, jumped into his arms, and kissed him. Ginny Weasley, i'm hella jealous. Seriously. And he's just so happy. And she's so happy. But then...i can't even type/talk about it while tearing up. I can't believe that Jo Rowling would take him away from us like that. Why? Why leave him with no one? why? and who the fuck is r.a.b.?!?!?!?!?!? ARGFAKJSDKLASERISDKGJASKLDGJASLKDGJ! That is all.
Something that I may have said was taken out of of context. and i'm sorry. Steph, I didn't mean for you to be insulted about wrote. It's not like i'm saying I HATE THIS ABOUT BLABLABLA, AND IM COMPLAINING ABOUT BLABLABLA!!! Your blog does have music, and pictures. But it's not the only one that does. Ive been blog hunting/snooping all over the web, and i run into people that just abuse the music/pictures. so it's not that i'm being a beeyotch aboot it. and if i insulted you, i'm sorry. so please, don't be pissy at me. ;) i luv ya! If anything else comes up, call and yell at me. but at home. aldo has my cellphone. dunno why. seriously. _@_@_@_@_@_@_@_@_@_@_ Just finished HP6. Cried. Cried like a BABY! not even kidding. ;) luv y'all! *EDIT* And steph, that was the FUNNIEST reply start i've EVER read in my ENTIRE LIFE. I giggled and then read on seriously, cuz i know you were for real. And i'll reinstate it, you're not the only one with pictures. and those that ABUSE the pictures/music (not you, lol) should..well..dissapear. and there, i'm done... HMMMMM? o_< ;)
I HATE when people have like, 80 billion trillion pictures/gifs/movies/music on their websites. It isn't cool, it isn't pretty, and it causes computers to crash. So could you please, for the love of god, just desist? Stop? DON'T!!!!!! Ah...that felt better. So i got my ears pierced, i now have two pretty holes on each ear. With little cubic zirconia earrings on them. I like them. That's all that matters. That's pretty much all that's happened. I'm housesitting in August, pretty excited aboot that! ;) Adios y'all!
One of my Beta Fishes died today... I never officially named him, but he was a deep shade of purples and reds, so I always reffered to him as Plumbum...he passed away today... I'd only had him for about 6 months...it is pretty sad, but he's off in a better place now... my mom had me put plants in his fishbowl, claiming that they'd help him...she just wanted it to look pretty so she could put it in the living room... So now, only the white/albino one is left, and i think he's sick too, so i'm off to do some research on betas and how to take better care of them... I'm gonna get a self cleaning fish tank, seriously...all i have to do is feed them then... RIP Plumbum....
We are fucked, as the world. G8 summit. This weekend. The leaders of the world are meeting. The smartest men of the world. And we're represented by George Bush. I'm sorry to say, but with bush there? Africa's fucked. He aint doin' nothin' for them. He's an ass. Good day.
I was talking to steph on AIM, and I got kicked off. Doesn't that suck. Seriously. So today was entertaining, I went with Jen to do her spanish speech in her class, it was so cute, cuz we were the 3rd group to go...we were the least funny, but most informative speech. AND,he had to mention that my bro was aldo...lol...it was quite funny...;) I didn't like the guy in the white/green shirt. he was a douche. so was the girl in the purple tanktop. I had fun tho. I went to the office afterwards, (her class was at 8 am, i left the classroom around 9:30 am) hung out with Sara and Paul, we fucked with people on some thing, it was SO funny...and then jen got out of class, so she hung out with us as well (while she worked). we had hella fun. My new name is Busty DeLusty! I LOVE it lol. So anyways, we spent all day watching SNL videos, and I dL'd some tunes, it was coo. legaly of course, using i-tunes, so technicaly, i purchased. whatever. anywho, it was cool. then michelle came in, and we all went to get pizza (me jen and michelle) while butta stayed working. and i got the most funny/ironic call. it was aldo complaining that it took 3 people to go buy a pizza. when I don't even work there. and he was complaining that i worked there...it was quite entertaining... I went to see War of the Worlds yesterday with Steph and Rach, it was good...i liked it all except for the last like, thirty seconds...i was like, wtf mate...but it was pretty cool.. watching I-Robot now....that is a pretty bad ass movie. i thoroughly enjoy it. "you have made a mistake. my logic is undeniable." that's gonna be my next flipping quote for myself. Her knowledge is So NOT undeniable. Seriously. So Peeps, that was my day. feel free to comment and shizte. Dan Renzi ROCKS my world sooo much. Seriously. He ROCKS my pants off. or on. depending on my mood. I gotta go pee. I'll be back later. :D *EDIT* Pic of the Week.
MY NEW HAIRCUT! YA LIKES?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? :D I do! Thanks to MILIO'S!!!! Milio's of Chicago! I lurve it! :D
Today's the first time i've been in the office with people for over a month now..ive missed this place. I came in to help jen with her spanish project presentation thing...it should be VERY entertaining! :) I'm quite excited. i don't think i've laughed this much in a LONG time like i laughed today, seriously...i'm in a cracked out mood today, im finding everything absolutely funny today. seriously. On that note, has anyone seen R.Kelly's "In The Closet" videos yet? What the fuck are those? Too damn funny...seriously. Well, can't have too much of a long post today..Happy Birthday Ms. DeFranco! 21 years old! Bitch! My Bitch! :D Ta Ta for now!
The beginnings of Jen's and i's first lesbic romp!
Nah, that's just what happens when we get bored and have a cameraphone with us. It was late. We were tired and full of pizza. Give us a break.
If I look like a total dork asshole in this picture, I don't mind, it's completely ok. Let me explain. The lion which I am posing with is named Ano (all you spanish speaking readers should find that entertaining, nontheless...) and is a little stuffed lion which i've been extremely close to and have loved for a long time. He went missing a couple of years ago, (seriously, i turned the house upside down looking for this little fucker) and we all just figured that me mum just threw him away or something. So a couple of weeks ago, i'm cleaning my room and I find this box/bin thing in the bottom of my closet, and I decide that I should go through it and see if i could throw anything out. Low and behold, Ano was at the bottom of the pile. That fucker must have snuck inside when I was cleaning one day, and it never dawned on me to look for him. I've missed him so, but now, my life is complete.
And here ends my fotoblog of the day. Comments? Questions? You know how to reply. ;D
Lol, your random yet not random message made me laugh. ;) *pseudo-stalker...my favorite!!* Ok, so life update. Last time i blogged..well..i don't remember, so i'll start at graduation. Yes, I went through the whole graduation thing @ triton, twas fun, sang national anthem and got paid for it, flippin' sweet! I would say there's a video, but i dunno where it would be. check the triton website for more info if you want it. So after that, i really haven't done much. UIC is scrapped for the fall, i'll be at triton this fall to take some more classes actually pertaining to my major (imagine that!) so i know exactly what i'm getting into. I'm not sad about it, hell, i might end up joining tcsa for the hell of it for the fall semester. Haven't really gone out much. The past 3 days i've been sick as a dog, and have been in bed wrapped up in blankets, even with the 85 degree weather. Today, though, i can breathe again (through BOTH nostrils, which is AWESOME!!!) and I can walk without getting dizzy...praise the lord for generic walgreens medicine, it's da shizzle! but before that, i went to my friend bri's bday party @ her hizzy, where it was a very entertaining time. that's as far as i'll go on that. So, i developed (for a very small amount of time, that is) feelings for a particular person. Those have been shot to shit and have dissapeared for the most part. they're 99% gone. <--i have no idea whether i put the percentage sign at the right place, but whatever. Anywho, it sucks, but not as much as the previous one, even though it's the same exact situation as last time, except with a different outcome. i'll give you the layman's version: girl likes boy. boy likes girl's best friend. girl is sad. girl's best friend doesn't like boy. girl gets happy for like a second. boy ask girl to basically put in a good word for girl's best friend. girl's feelings shot to shit. girl now just has a small hinkering of feeling, but nothing more. Damien's leaving triton. aww. today was his last day, from what I hear. he will be missed. ALDO'S BIRTHDAY!!! JUNE 22ND! (TODAY). HAPPY 28th BIRTHDAY BITCH!!!! SAW is an extremely good movie. Currently watching it, at 3:06 AM. Waiting till 4 AM to take my medicine, then off to bed for 6 hours till the next dosage. god, sounds like im on drugs or some shit lol. I had something in mind to say, and I so DON'T remember what it was...lemme think. I stole this shit from Jesster over at Livejournal. I'll be linking her soon, when I add it to my sidebar. So here it goes: 01. Reply with your name and I will write something I like about you. 02. I will then tell what song/movie/icon reminds me of you. 03. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, I'll tell you what it would be. 04. I will try to name a single word that best describes you. 05. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you. 06. I will tell you what animal you remind me of. 07. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you. 08. Put this in your journal. and for those who just read this cuz they have Voyeuristic intentions, GET A BLOG, DAMNIT!!!
So i'm looking in ON DEMAND thing on comcast, and looking at the videos... they have the DRAGOSTEA DIN TEI VIDEO!!!!! SO EXCITING!!!! Im watching it right now. For like, the sixth time. i love it. RACHEL!!!! Which Dir en Grey CD do you have? I wanna see if i can "buy" some songs, so recommend a cd u have, or one that would be worth investing in! ;) luv y'all!!
As stolen from a friend's blog, i'm posting this in my blogs. Whoever you are, post a comment and fill this out, damnit. ;) 1. Who are you? 2. Are we friends? 3. When and how did we meet? 4. Do you have a crush on me? 5. Would you kiss me? 6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it. 7. Describe me in one word. 8. What was your first impression? 9. Do you still think that way about me now? 10. What reminds you of me? 11. If you could give me anything what would it be? 12. How well do you know me? 13. When's the last time you saw me? 14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? 15. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?
Hey Steph! GUESS WHAT!?!!?!?!? remember the coincidence from the other day, well, there was a repeat of sorts. It kills me, you know why!?!?!?!?!? GRR! I'll tell u later! Cant talk specifics. Anwyas, yea total change of heart of sorts. I will miss that guy. And his wife. they're cool as hell. :) im watching cribs. how fun. ttyl!
Today was the Leyden District's Pops Concert. It was also Mr. Nathan Landes last concert as Director of Choirs. I have been out of Leyden for 2 years, but it is still sad. As strange as it is for me to admit, he really did reignite my love for music. I was originally going to take typing classes instead of anything, but then due to scheduling conflicts, I signed up for choir instead. And I am glad that I did. Choir was the only thing I looked forward to in school; even though it was the first period of the day, it was the most fun for me. I loved every second of it, even though I may not have acted like I did. 4 years I was involved, in 4 different choirs: Concert Choir, Bel Canto, Acapella Choir and Swing choir, and every choir was a different experience. I appreciated Acapella and Bel Canto the most. That's where I really found my voice, where I found out what I could sing, and what my potential was. I regret not being able to be more involved, but i'm glad I was able to do what I could. This post is not necessarily a good post, more of a flashback post. I would like to thank Mr. Landes for being there. I really didn't appreciate you as much as I should have until I left leyden, and more now that you're leaving leyden. You will always have a special place in my heart.
So it begins. Again. Yes yes. again. arghghghghghghgh!! and steph, that was a hell of a coincidence, it freaked the hell out of me! :D I thought you had something about it. and yes. I do. But i won't do what you told me. I'd like to, but I don't have the balls. So i'm gonna talk to someone who might be able to assist me in the matter, put in a good word. Although the incident happened again, it was quite funny, and i thought of you steph. rach, thanx for helping me with the website thing, my layout is up and running, and im working on a new one as we speak. :) or as I type. featuring the jackass/viva la bam cheerleaders...you'll see...;) ill say it before and ill say it again. If i know u and u read this, reply, lemme know! :) maybe i'll send you a shoutout. ;)
Wow. Wow. Wow. I'm not going to ruin the movie by talking about it here, but wow. Seriously, wow. First of all, it totally and completely makes up for the shittines which was Episode 1 and Episode 2... Wow.... Holy shit... I'll say one thing. What I had thought of someone has COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY CHANGED... I will never watch the rest of the triology the same way. Never. wow...
I'm home from school today, and i was checkin' out people's myspace when i come to a link, and decide to check it out... Nintendo Acapella funniest shit ever. seriously. :)
I've gotten an overwhelming response from people in real life who have found my blog. Ok, like, 4 or 5, but that's big for me. ;) Just to let y'all know, it's all good if you guys read this. I'd like you to, so you can comment, ect., ya kno? It's a way to keep in touch w.my peeps. Oh, and today is my LAST day as VP. :( i'll b good!
smeared black ink your palms are sweaty and im barely listening to last demand im staring at the asphalt wondering what's laying underneath where I am where I am \Wear my badge A vynil sticker with big block letter adherent to my chest that tells your new friends i am a visitor here i am not permanent the only thing keeping my dry is where i am it seems so out of context in this gaudy appartment complex a stranger with a doorkey explaining that im just visiting and i am finally seeing that i was the one worth leaving. dc sleeps alone tonight. alone. alone.alone.alone.alone.alone. alone.alone.alone.alone.alone. alone.alone.alone.alone.alone. it seems so out of context in this gaudy appartment complex the stranger with a doork ey explaingint that im just visiting and i am finally seeing that i was the one worth leaving that i was the wone worth leaving the district sleeps alone tonight after the bars turn out their light ..... that i was the one worth leaving.... that i was the one worth leaving... that i was the one worth leaving. ... .. . .. ... .... ... .. . .. ... .... ..... .... ... .. . .. ... .... ..... ...... ..... .... .. .
Peter: Everybody, I got bad news. We've been cancelled! Lois:Oh no, Peter how can they do that. Peter: Well unfortunately Lois, there's just no more room on the schedule. We just got to accept the fact that Fox has to make room for fantastic shows like: Dark Angel Titus Undeclared Action That 80's Show Wonderfalls Fastlane Andy Richter Controls The Universe Skin Girls Club Cracking Up The Pits Firefly Get Real Freaky Links Wanda At Large Costello The Lone Gunman A Minute With Stan Hooper Normal Ohio Pasadena Harsh Realm Keen Eddy The Street American Embassy Cedric The Entertainer The Tick Louis and Greg The Bunny. Lois: Is there really no hope? Peter: Well I supposed if all those shows go down the tubes we might have a shot.
It's happening again. In a total non-malicious format, of course. This time, the person has no control over it, so i'm not mad at her. But yet again, I didn't make my intentions clear earlier. So he likes someone else. And yet again, it's someone close to me. ARGH!!! Alecia, Nails. we're on. I'll call you sometime tonight. :D
I got this from Jenna on MySpace. If you're not on MySpace, you're a loser. No You're Not. But you should be on MySpace. It's not really a big thing. I need a pedicure. :D ARE YOU A MOVIE MANIAC??? place an "X" on the movies that you have already seen. If you put an X on 70 or more, then you're a CINEMA WHORE!! Post your score as part of the subject. (X)Napoleon Dynamite (X)Saw () White Noise ( )White Oleander (x)Anger Management (x)50 First Dates (x)Jason (x)Scream (x)Scream 2 (x)Scream 3 (x)Scary Movie (x)Scary Movie 2 (x)Scary Movie 3 (x)American Pie (x)American Pie 2 (x)American Wedding (X)Harry Potter (X)Harry Potter 2 (X)Harry Potter 3 (x)Resident Evil I (x)Resident Evil 2 ()The Wedding Singer ()Little Black Book ()The Village ()Donnie Darko (x)Lilo & Stitch (x)Finding Nemo ()Finding Neverland (x)13 Ghosts (x)Signs ()The Grinch (x)Texas Chainsaw Massacre ()White Chicks (x)Butterfly Effect ()Thirteen going on 30 (x)I Robot (x)Dodgeball (x)Universal Soldier (x)A Series Of Unfortunate Events (x)Along Came A Spider ()Deep impact ()KingPin (x)Never Been Kissed (x)Meet The Parents ()Meet The Fockers ()Eight Crazy Nights ()A Cinderella Story ()The Terminal (x)The Lizzie McGuire Movie ()Passport to Paris (x)Dumb & Dumber (x)Dumb & Dumberer (x)Final Destination (x)Final Destination 2 (x)Halloween (x)The Ring (x)The Ring 2 (x)Harold & Kumar (white castle) ()Practical Magic (x)Chicago (x)Ghost Ship (x)From Hell (x)Hellboy (x)Secret Window ()I Am Sam (x)The Whole Nine Yards (x)The Whole Ten Yards (x) The Day After Tomorrow (x)Child's Play (x)Bride of Chucky (x)Ten Things I Hate About You (x)Just Married (x)Gothika (x)A Nightmare on Elm Street (x)Sixteen Candles (x)Bad Boys 2 (x)Joy Ride (x)Seven (SE7EN) (x)Oceans Eleven (x)Oceans Twelve (x)Identity ()Lone Star (x)Bedazzled ()Predator I ()Predator II (x) Independence Day ()Cujo ()A Bronx Tale (x)darkness Falls ()Christine (x) ET (x)Children of the Corn ()My boss' daughter ()Maid in Manhattan ()Frailty ()Best bet ()How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (x)She's All That ()Calendar Girls ()Sideways (x)Mars Attacks (x)Event Horizon (x)Ever after (x)Forrest Gump ()Big Trouble in Little China (x)X-men 1 (x)X-men 2 (x)Jeepers Creepers (x)Jeepers Creepers 2 (x)Catch Me If You Can (x)The Others (x)Freaky Friday (x)Reign of Fire (x)Cruel Intentions (x)The Hot Chick ()Swimfan () Miracle (x)Old School (x)Ray ()The Notebook ()K-Pax (x)Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (x)Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (x)Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (x)A Walk to Remember (x)Boogeyman (x)Hitch ()Back Door Sluts 9 (x)The Fifth Element (x)Star wars episode I (x)Star wars episode II (x)Star wars episode IV (x)Star wars episode V (x)Star wars episode VI ()Troop Beverly Hills ()Swimming with Sharks ()Trainspotting ()People under the stairs ()Blue Velvet (x)Sound of music (x)Parent Trap ()The Burbs ()SLC Punk (x)Meet Joe Black (x)Wild girls ()A Clockwork Orange (x)The Order (x)Spiderman (x)Spiderman 2 (x)Amelie (x)Mean Girls (x)Shrek (x)Shrek 2 (x)The Incredibles (x)Collateral (x)The Fast & The Furious (x)2 Fast 2 Furious (x)Sky Captain & The World of Tomorrow (x)Closer (x)The Sixth Sense (x)Artificial intelligence (x)Love actually ()Shutter ()Ella Enchanted (x)Princess diaries 1 (x)Princess diaries 2 (x)Constantine (x)Million Dollar Baby ()Envy (x) Eurotrip (x) Malibu's Most wanted (x) Big Daddy ()Black Sheep (x) the breakfast club
a blog separated by all of 10 minutes. i'm about to order sporty's soon, i'm a starvin'!!! :D Starvin' like marvin'. back to my other thing. I must figure out when hair dying will take place. I must dye hair and soon. Seriously. I mean, come on people. I have roots in my roots in my roots. And I must dye the hair of another who has not confirmed his appointment in the guzman salon. So call. U know my extention. damn it. Or if not, call the operator, jeezy creezy. :D
I just spent the past hour and a half in the most interesting conversation i've ever had in my entire life. Jeezy Friggin Creezy. Steph and I went and made a campaign flyer for Secco. I'm expecting to see it in his office next time I go there. Then we got started on TC politics, which led to normal politics, which led to him telling us the BEST prank he pulled in high school... to his cats. it was awesome. i'll be back though, must share information with people. :D
I feel absolutely worthless right now, it's like, ridiculous. I'm sitting here, and everybody's problems are so...well...bigger, or whatever, than mine. no, wait, let me rephrase that. Everyone around me has their own sort of trouble, which I'm there to lend a hand and an ear to listen to. And yet, I can't do that. I've probably said it a lot already, but i can't help it, it's a recurring thing with me. I'm stuck in a place where i have to watch what i say around certain people due to the fear of eavesdroppers. I have to act a certain way because I have to. I have absolutely NO money whatsoever. Hell, i don't even know what to say anymore. I'm a miserable person. I've come to realize that in the past few days. It seems to me like, i can never be happy. i'm like pavlov's dog. i've been trained to be unhappy at the sound of whatever trigger i've been trained for. it's friggin weird. But I am. At the oficina, people are beginning to see the not so happy side of me. It's very strange. But i cover it well. The scumbags need to go. (And i don't mean my loving whore scumbag, erika, who imentioned in a diff. entry lol). The scumbags, those who I and only I will know who they are, need to go. They are doing nothing but...well..nothing. And i'm sick and tired of it. OH, and why is one person with that other person? the one with the thing and the thing that did that thing with the other person and the thing was thingy about it? I see nothing good coming out of that. I'm an insanely jealous person, methinks. I am so jealous of everyone else around me, well, for the most part. I have the smart people, the funny people, the people in relationships, the cool ones, the ones that get along with everyone. And then there's me. Sitting here, watching the world turn and seeing everyone and going out of my way to help absolutely anyone that I can. And i mean that seriously. i think i should prob. work for triton, i mean, everyone comes up to me and asks me shit about it anyways. Goddamn. I cried tonight. I just went into my room and cried for about 8 minutes. I can't take it anymore. I can't make anyone happy at all. I just sit here, like a rock in the middle of a sea of people, with no effect whatsoever, except that people use me as a doormat or for whatever they need done. and no, i don't mean anyone in specific. I just feel that i'm getting taken advantage of, and not in the way that i'd like to be taken advantage of lol. it's weird. Thank you Erika for calling me last weekend, it meant a lot to me that you know what i'm talking about, and that you care enough for me to at least call me. I'm sorry if i've been bitchy lately, i have a lot of things in my mind, but regardless, i love ya. :) You're an amazing person, and i will teach you to reply on here. Caraleigh, to be honest, you were the last person I expected to reply on here. Thank you so much for your caring words, they made me want to cry. I don't know if you check here regurarly, but either way, i must thank you next time I see you. You really are a great person, and I'm glad that you read what I wrote, I hope that we can become closer, even though you will be going to georgetown soon (shut up bitch, you know you're getting in, and I know you're getting in, and i'll be happy for you no matter what), but regardless, you are an awesome person. And no matter what, we will always have that night in the hotel room in springfield with you, me, lori...and that special group. :) you know what I mean. Any readers that I may have here, regardless of who they are. Drop me a line here. I'd like to know you guys. maybe chat once. I'm just...well...lonely. as sad as it seems, i just need someone to hold me. seriously.
I think that for some reason, i'm either pushing people away or they just no longer want to be near me or something. A place which I used to call a form of home feels as foreign as a room in a motel that gets rented by the hour. I feel as if (yet again), people leave the room when I enter. People talk about me behind my back. And since I don't have a form of transportation, I don't get to see people as often as i'd like to, so i'm sure there's people out there that feel neglected, and they probably feel resentful towards me. At home, i'm hella lonely. I don't have anyone to talk to since wady left. Every day, I go home, I go to my room and watch tv. I'm literarily rotting away in the pigsty which is my bedroom. And I feel as if i have no drive to do anything. I never wanted to be one of those people who is like "Hey, look at me here, i'm here lalalallalallalallaaaaa!!!", but I do feel as if I go through life with this facade, this shell, or shield of sorts that just covers everything and makes everyone believe that everything's allright. (Kinda like the dashboard song "saints and sailors", "don't be a liar... don't say that everything's working when everything's broken, and you smile like a saint, but you curse like a sailor, and you might say the joke's on me") And just now, people are starting to realize that there's something else there. I get the "you're unusually quiet" phrase from a lot of people. And I tell them, oh, i'm thinkin' of something...the other day, my friend asks me "are you ok? you look like you're going to cry!" and all I did was smile, and she figured I was ok. so she moved on to other conversations with other people. Shiet. I think that no one really knows me. Really really knows the real me. the people who probably know me the most are Rachel (who i've known for a good 10 years now), Stephanie, and Erika. Yet, I don't think they realize the effect their actions have on me. I spoke with Steph not too long ago, and she told me that she and rach kinda felt neglected, like I don't want to spend time with them. I'm telling you here, that's not the case at all. I love you two from the bottom of my heart. You two are some of the people I cherish most in the world. And I hate that you guys feel neglected. But I do have a lot of responsibilities at school, which is why i'm usually there so late. And I swear, I don't prefer the triton peeps over you guys. I swear to god I don't, I love you guys all equally. It just sucks that I never get to see you guys, (well, I see steph at least 3 times a week, which is awesome, but rachel every once in a while) because of the fact that I spend so much time at school. And I wish that you guys would come out with me and my triton peeps, just so we can all get along. Yes, ALL OF US! (I don't want you guys holding any more resentment towards anyone, I swear. I'm mostly over the whole shpiel, so please please please, let's alljust get along with everyone.) When I go out with them, it's purely a spur of the moment thing. And i'm sorry that whenever we go out, the plans end up changing because of me. I'm sorry though. I just want you guys to know that I do have responsibilities to attend to at school, and I hope you guys understand that. I hope you know i'm not trying to make you guys feel bad on purpose. I just ask one thing though. Please don't rub it in when I see you guys that I never get to go out. Or when you call me, i'm sorry if I can't answer the phone at the time, I really apologize, but it doesn't help me when I hear it from you guys. I know it's because you care, but please. It makes me feel lower than dirt, and I'm already dealing with enough stress from other people, so I don't want to make you guys more upset and make me more upset. Wow, what a friggin rant here. Oh, i reffered to a person by...their current status, I guess you could say. And it felt good. Oh, congrats to the eboard: Prez- Erika VP- Lan Treas- Spence Sec- Christina Stud. Trustee- Danielle Good luck to y'all on your upcoming year!
So, what is up, my bitches? This place is for you guys to read how my life has been. But how have yours been? Let me know please. :) I miss my peeps from back in the day. I miss my peeps from now. I dunno. i think i'm just an unhappy person in general. i'll see what happens.
The killers. Yeah! Lurve it! Umm.... I'm sitting @ tcsa w. danielle and erika next to me, and angelo behind me w.jnell. I do honestly believe i'm over most (not all) of the melodrama that I had been part of for the past 5 months. It's a welcome change of mood, other than my depressio shit, you know? Although, I do believe that I might be developing...well...things for other people around here. Very cute boy indeed. Will not provide any details as of now. But yea. Erika's my little Hoe Bag. I lorve her. All my bitches are awesome. :)
Your dating personality profile: Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate. Big-Hearted - You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love. Sensual - You are not particularly shy when it comes to your sexuality. You know what you like and do not feel inhibited.
They're doing the weigh-in thing today with d. And I said, when it comes to those issues, I don't like it when other people get involved. And I said I don't trust him. And i don't. Because, the way I see it, it's his way of ridiculing people with the excuse of being nice and caring. I personally don't see it that way. I see it as a way of making fun of someone without getting caught. And I don't like it. I'm sorry, but that's just me. I guess it's also because I know how he works. I've known him for years, and as good natured as he is, he always has an underlying intention when doing whatever he's doing. An incentive. I find it malicious. I dunno why. I just do. It's not that i'm not trusting, i just watch my back. You know? I don't know how to explain it. I mean, how do you explain something like that.? And I look like an asshole to the rest of the chicks cuz I think what I think. That i'm weak or something. I don't need someone to say this to me. I don't. I mean, goddamn. I really don't think he should be getting involved. I don't like it. A person lives the way they want to live. And i'm not saying i'm not grateful or anything. But come on. What the fuck. I would say more, but i'm out of words.
See, i told you that it'd be my headline. Just got back...well..last week, but whatever, from springfield. Definitely an interesting trip. Definitely. DEFINITELY. Went to see Sin City with Rach and Steph. Definitely interesting. I think i may have been more entertained by the couple making out in front of me instead of the movie. "My name is nancy..." *slurp*slurp*slurp* "Why...blablabla" *slurp*slurp*moan*groan*slurp* *glare of the light from his forehead hitting my eye* It was greatly entertaining. Yeah. I'm currently playing "The Tide Is high" with nick next to me. He is going to shoot me. Hey, jenna made the cd, not me. I love this song. Yeh. So. i'm gonna go off to my other blog once everyone's out of the oficina. I was debating whether or not to apply to elmhurst, just to see if I could get in if i really wanted to. But then, I can't go there. I can't afford it. Like, seriously out of my range. But I really wanna go. So should I do it and see what happens? Or spare myself the pain? Dunno. The doggy ate the doggy treat. The doggy treat is now ashamed and being awesome to everyone. dunno why. :) makes me laugh.
"Mr. Brightside" by The Killers is a song loosely...well...i think tightly, based on Moulin Rouge and its story. I like that song. :) MM..it's my shit...THis shit is Bananas, BANANAS! (MTV2 has a rotating playlist...i just saw The Killers, Gwen Stephani, and Blink 182 in a row for the third time today. Kinda shitty). I'm lonely, I need to find someone to be with. I do. I don't know if i want a relationship per se, or just the physical. I dunno. Erika's bday is on monday! i think she turns 20? dunno, but its exciting for her. I'm gonna try to buy hersomething, i love that girl. Umm... Steph got accepted to Elmhurst! I'm so excited for her! :D I knew she could do it!
at 9:37 pm, italian time, on april 2nd, 2005, Pope John Paul II has passed away. I can pray now that he will be accepted into heaven as he should be, being one of the greatest men in history, and the greatest, and only, pope I ever knew. He has passed...I saw it, and currently am seeing it, on CNN. I don't know what to say. What to do. I'm just typing because I don't want to cry. I didn't expect to cry. But seeing the clips of him with children, seeing him at his full health, and realizing that he is gone...it hurts. Even though i don't got to church much...or pray...he still was an influential figure in mylife. I can only hope that he died knowing how much the world loved him. Not only catholics of the world, but people around all religions, all cultures...regardless of who they are, or what they believe in...a little piece of everyone has been taken away today. O wosj tjat i had cared more, or put more time towards my religion. or towads my beliefs....i want to call my grandma now, and just tell her that i love her. I dont know what to do. It's strange. I never though ti'd be affected like this. I cant even go to my mom and say anything, she'll just tell me to suck it up and stop crying. I wish i could be over there in the Vatican City, just to be close to him. So many sad faces being shoiwn...all the people who went and prayed for him. They are all beautiful, warm, caring people, with loving hearts. it hurts.
"'POPE OPENED EYES EARLIER | 12:23 p.m. ET Among the top church officials gathering at the pope's bedside today is Cardinal Marcio Francesco Pompedda, a high-ranking Vatican administrator, who says the pope opened his eyes and smiled. "I understood he recognized me. It was a wonderful smile -- I'll remember it forever. It was a benevolent smile -- a father-like smile," Pompedda tells RAI television. "I also noticed that he wanted to tell me something but he could not. ... But what impressed me very much was his expression of serenity."'" The pope is, reportedly, on the verge of death. The 84-year-old guide and leader of the catholic church may be leaving us soon. I have not considered myself a practicing catholic for many years, but this brings tears to my eyes. I am very saddened by this. The Pope John Paul II is a great man, and loved by my people and my culture. In my family, we like to say that "The pope may have been born in Poland, but he will forever be Mexican in our hearts, and in his." I didn't think it would feel like this when it happened. I thought i'd be, well...not caring, actually. But I didn't realize how much he has touched my life, as well as many others. Tonight, when I get home, I will pray for the first time in years. Pray that he gets better, that he heals, even if it is for a small amount of time. Not for myself, but for the world. Everyone, regardless of your religion, please pray for him.
Bold what you have done. 01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink 02. Swam with wild dolphins 03. Climbed a mountain 04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive 05. Been inside the Great Pyramid 06. Held a tarantula 07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone 08. Said 'I love you' and meant it 09. Hugged a tree 10. Done a striptease 11. Bungee jumped 12. Visited Paris 13. Watched a lightning storm at sea 14. Stayed up all night long, and watched the sun rise 15. Seen the Northern Lights 16. Gone to a huge sports game 17. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa 18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables 19. Touched an iceberg 20. Slept under the stars 21. Changed a baby's diaper 22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon 23. Watched a meteor shower 24. Gotten drunk on champagne 25. Given more than you can afford to charity 26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope 27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment 28. Had a food fight 29. Bet on a winning horse 30. Called in sick when you were not ill 31. Asked out a stranger 32. Had a snowball fight 33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier 34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can(it's so liberating) 35. Held a lamb 36. Enacted a favorite fantasy 37. Taken a midnight skinny dip 38. Taken an ice cold bath 39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar 40. Seen a total eclipse 41. Ridden a roller coaster 42. Hit a home run 43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days 44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking 45. Adopted an accent for an entire day 46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors 47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment 48. Had two hard drives for your computer 49. Visited all 50 states 50. Loved your job 51. Taken care of someone who was shit faced 52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied 53. Had amazing friends 54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country 55. Watched wild whales 56. Stolen a sign 57. Backpacked in Europe 58. Taken a road-trip 59. Rock climbing 60. Lied to foreign government's official in that country to avoid notice 61. Midnight walk on the beach 62. Sky diving 63. Visited Ireland 64. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love 65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them 66. Visited Japan 67. Benchpressed your own weight 68. Milked a cow 69. Alphabetized your records 70. Pretended to be a superhero 71. Sung karaoke 72. Lounged around in bed all day 73. Posed nude in front of strangers 74. Scuba diving 75. Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye 76. Kissed in the rain 77. Played in the mud 78. Played in the rain 79. Gone to a drive-in theater 80. Done something you should regret, but don't regret it 81. Visited the Great Wall of China 82. Discovered that someone who's not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog 83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better 84. Started a business 85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken 86. Toured ancient sites 87. Taken a martial arts class 88. Swordfought for the honor of a woman 89. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight 90. Gotten married 91. Been in a movie 92. Crashed a party 93. Loved someone you shouldn't have 94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy 96. Had sex at the office 97. Gone without food for 5 days 98. Made cookies from scratch 99. Won first prize in a costume contest 100. Ridden a gondola in Venice 101. Gotten a tattoo 102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on 103. Rafted the Snake River 104. Been on television news programs as an "expert" 105. Got flowers for no reason 106. Masturbated in a public place 107. Got so drunk you don't remember anything (hehehe, not really, just wanted to bold it lol) 108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug 109. Performed on stage 110. Been to Las Vegas 111. Recorded music 112. Eaten shark 113. Had a one-night stand 114. Gone to Thailand 115. Seen Siouxsie live 116. Bought a house 117. Been in a combat zone 118. Buried one/both of your parents 119. Shaved or waxed your pubic hair off 120. Been on a cruise ship 121. Spoken more than one language fluently 122. Gotten into a fight defending someone 123. Bounced a check 124. Performed in Rocky Horror 125. Read - and understood - your credit report 126. Raised children 127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy 128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour (part of it anyway) 129. Created and named your own constellation of stars 130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country 131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did 132. Called or written your Congress person 133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over 134. ...more than once? 135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge 136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking 137. Had an abortion or your female partner did 138. Had plastic surgery 139. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived 140. Wrote articles for a large publication 141. Lost over 100 pounds 142. Held someone while they were having a flashback 143. Piloted an airplane 144. Petted a stingray 145. Broken someone's heart 146. Helped an animal give birth 147. Been fired or laid off from a job 148. Won money on a T.V. game show 149. Broken a bone 150. hey look its the incredible missing question! 151. Gone on an African photo safari 152. Ridden a motorcycle 153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph 154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced 155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol 156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild 157. Ridden a horse 158. Had major surgery 159. Had sex on a moving train 160. Had a snake as a pet 161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon 162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing 163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours 164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states 165. Visited all 7 continents 166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days 167. Eaten kangaroo meat 168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground 169. Been a sperm or egg donor 170. Eaten sushi 171. Had your picture in the newspaper 172. Had 2 healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime 173. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about 174. Gotten someone fired for their actions 175. Gone back to school 176. Parasailed 177. Changed your name 178. Petted a cockroach 179. Eaten fried green tomatoes 180. Read The Iliad 181. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read 182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them 183. ...and gotten 86'ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you 184. Taught yourself an art from scratch 185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating 186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt 187. Skipped all your school reunions 188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language 189. Been elected to public office 190. Written your own computer language 191. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream 192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care 193. Built your own PC from parts 194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you 195. Had a booth at a street fair 196. Dyed your hair 197: Been a DJ 198: Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal 199: Written your own role playing game 200: Been arrested Some of those I wasn't sure if they really applied due to different circumstances. Therefore, I did not bold them. Follow along in your accord, please.
0110110101111001001000000110001101101111011 00011011010110010000001101001011100110010 0000011011010111010101100011011010000010000 00110001001101001011001110110011101100101 0111001000100000011101000110100001100001011 01110001000000111100101101111011101010111 001001110011 if anyone knows what that means, i know you're either: a) Dork b) A friend of mine 3) Saying it along with me! I just realized that the words above look like stairsteps lmao! :D MMM...made some phonecalls...dunno if they're regretable, but i know that one of the recievers has not spoken to me in, oh, 5 days. So. yeah. other calls were funny though. i love people. a list of my most favorite people in the world: (here it goes) - Aldo, Wady, Rach, Steph, Erika, Michelle, Jen, Bri, Lan, Nick, PUMPERS! (And his dominican peeps), Irish Helena!, Damien (surprised? yeah, you should be), Danielle, and me peeps! So much fun this last week, it's been THE SHIT!!! Oh, my hair is red now. I'll take a pic soon and post it! :D
Starship Troopers is a great movie. Maybe not acting-wise. The plot may be a bit weak. But God damn....it brings back flashbacks of the day. Sgt. Rico still can't yell. Dizzy's the shit. I hate the other girl. But it reminds me of happy times. Well, not necessarily happy times, but just times before the present. Back when we lived in Melrose Park in the apartment with the balcony, where my bedroom was right across from aldo and wady's, and we actually used to spend time together. I remember the first time I ever saw this movie, it was in their bedroom, me and wady were cleaning and watching tv. It was weird because we watched Romy & Michele's High School Reunion like, 6 times, and then this one. But regardless of that, I miss living there. I miss the apartment. I miss the living room/dining room area with the big window, and the balcony that looked like a small jungle when you looked in through the window because of my mom's plants. I miss sleeping in the living room on the furry blanket watching movies with the family. I miss christmas with the tree in the corner, and thye pretty lights. And the closet right next to the door. I miss being able to sneak in through the balcony when being locked out of the house. I miss the stairwell, with the ugly carpeting, but a great place to just chill. I miss the basment with the washer/dryer that you had to pay to use. I just miss everything about that time. Back when I waws still young, or well, younger than now. I didn't have as much to worry about. And more importantly, I think i didn't realize all the shit that was going on with so many different things. I could just brush things off my shoulder with no problem. But now, everything affects me. Everything stays on my shoulder. I miss those days. I have huge like, problems of sorts. I really can't explain it. It's more like, i have inferiority syndromes or problems or something. I always feel like i'm the one that people want to leave out. That people think of last. I'm used and known not for me, but for my uses. People keep me around because i am useful, i can do things for people, and I guess I don't put up much of a fight. I don't know. it sucks. I'll end it with something short. Maybe understandable to some. I don't care. It hurts. But I still love him.
I'm 19, female, I love to sing and act, and if I could live anywhere as of this moment, it would be NYC!
Joshua and I! :D